Thursday, December 07, 2006

Too much with too little

For the series "doing too much with too little stored up energies", also known as massively overdoing, here is the perfect "what you should never do" day.

It starts with waking up, going to work, realizing that of the 6 things you should do you can actually do only 3 due others' people not having done their job, calling them, explaining the problem. So far, so good.

But then, DO NOT enter in crypto-ironic mode when they come up with the most hilarious excuses for not having done their job. DO NOT close the call with a "Well, sure, take your time, Christmas is close anyway" as, despite what you may think, those people could take your words at face value.

As you get out of work, DO NOT run getting a flu shot right after work and, if you do, DO NOT go running on a football field with 6 degrees of temperature and 90% humidity just 2 hours later. If you decide for such unwise course of action, at least DO NOT ignore your body's warning sign pretending the severe pain in your articulations, headache, swollen eyes, short breath are simply going to pass with a warm shower. DO NOT dismiss the wise words your bones and muscles are trying to tell you, that you should just get in bed and rest, just because you have a dinner out and calling off a dinner 30 minutes before meeting time is like the most uncorteous thing to do. If you persist in going out, DO NOT order a full pizza when your stomach threatens to turn itself inside out and, if you are crazy enough to do that, DO NOT have wine going along with it.

When finally your body decides to start a revolution to oust a dictatorial brain that obviously isn't serving the good of the (cellular) masses, DO NOT try to start a counter-revolution just to prove your brain can control everything even when everything is way beyond control... if white russians couldn't win in 1917 despite the help of american, french and english armies, most likely you will not emerge victorious as well.

After you deliver home your (friendly) date, DO NOT drive home as everything was fine, risking to have a close encounter of the deadly kind with a car and with a sidewalk and, once home, DO NOT lay down too quickly or your articulations will remind you with waves of blinding pain that they want to adjust again to the horizontal position.

When you wake up in the middle of the night, DO NOT get out of bed right away without thinking what happened 3 hours before, you might discover that you undressed without giving it a thought and the belt is exactly where your foot decides to land, that your slippers aren't were they are supposed to be while the corner of your closet is exactly where it should be, unfortunately.

As the morning comes, DO NOT simply dismiss the fact you are having warm shivers despite the heaters are off blaming a strange case of disfunctional thermo-dinamic law, because you will not have anything to turn to 5 minutes later, when the shivers will be suddenly of the cold kind. DO NOT give up the idea of calling sick for the first time ever when you do not have at least 38 degrees of fever just because you hope those people mentioned above did their job, because you will find that they didn't. DO NOT pretend you are put-puting towards the office because it's a nice day and you want to enjoy the atmosphere, while in fact it is because your arms are having a hard time absorbing the usual bumps of the road.

If you do not do all those things, you might avoid feeling as wasted as I currently feel, my friend. And despite all of that, I will be on a plane tonight again, but for the last time this year, as tomorrow is a holyday here and I'll have along week-end in Germany, hoping I shall not have to spend it confined in bed.

PS: at least we won the football game, yesterday.

PPS: for the first time ever, as i went spell-checking this entry, teh message came out saying it couldn't find any mistake. Too good to be true, I think the spell checker is broken.

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